Seven Tips for Managing Yourself During Conflict

1. Remember that people (even you) are rarely as benevolent as they perceive themselves to be.
2. Remind yourself that others are rarely as evil as their opponents perceive them to be.
3. Be aware that people rarely spend as much time thinking about the issues as believed.
4. Realize that the behaviors of others are rarely planned or thought out.  Most aspects of conflict spin off other events and are not the result of cold-hearted calculation.
5. Almost all behaviors are motivated by positive intention.  Frequently these intentions are to take care of and protect themselves.
6. Previous patterns taint present perceptions.  Every conflict has a history that extends beyond the present.
7. Go to the balcony and observe the interactions within the group whenever you have difficulty remembering any of the above.